Lost but now found! - Solomon O. Agayatin
A message I've been dying to write. Lost but now found! Reason why I never give up. Reason for me to continue. Here lies most of the things I wanted to say inside.
19 years, I lived. Through ups and downs, thick and thin. From days when I still have no idea what I am doing to days like now when I'm all awake, learning, witnessing and shredding my innocence slowly. I've been through many things, yet not too many for me to say I had enough. I want to learn and experience more and I know it doesn't stop here. But the problem is, I felt like some part of my life are destroying me. Physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally. These things are stopping me to step ahead. There are times that I wanted to give up. However, I stood still. When I was in high school, I think I cut my wrist like three times and thank God, nothing worse happened to me. And until now, there's a lot of things, reminding me of who was I and who I am now. I am still confused and afraid. I have major emotional weaknesses. I am sensitive, my sensitivity went too far before way too many times. I also overthink into many things that put me in a devastating mood. Probably the reason why I cut myself before. My pure weaknesses, overthinking and emotional-sensitivity are some of my problems that slow my progression in life. I'm having a hard time overcoming these problems and I can't step ahead. Every change of my surroundings get me overthinking. There are so many things that always put me in a bad state. From my family, my friends, social media and even from the internet. I don't want to speak specifically here or whatsoever but there are too many. Besides of these weaknesses, some tribulations got me down on my knees as well. My parents went apart, my uncle died, I've been to bad break ups. Financial problematic days and such. Seeing my sister struggles through life and all that. I've even been through days were like, I was the only one in our house. Limited supplies and food. However, I went through all of them back then. The only reason I think why I survived and overcame all these things is because of God. And my reason to never give up and live is also Him. All of my prayers are heard, they're always turning into something. And so I know I still have these weaknesses and bad memories, but I am fighting. God told me that I am better than this. He knows my struggles and He's working out and suffering with me. He's aware of everything. I know that I am a "work-in-progress" and soon, I'll overcome all of these, not alone, but with Him. All of my troubles will end and yes, there might be some replacement for them. But I'll be ready.
On the other hand. I had fun with all the things I've been doing before. Writing songs, stories, helping with church services and communities. I don't know if I've been so productive or what, but I'm happy with all of it. However, I want to make more. And I want to keep this up. In fact, I'm leaving this all behind and try to start something new. Maybe I'll find my inspiration a new work and become an inspiration, as well, for others. I am excited for what it is come, I know there tons of it. Also, next, next week will be my birthday. I have like one and half week left to live as a teenager. Soon, I'll become a young adult dude. Which is why I want to make this one last week of me as a teenager to be memorable that's why I'll do my best to be productive as I ever be. Also, as I turn 20. I'll do my best to change myself! To renew myself! No, not the change that the people want, but change that I want and will please God. I will start all over again and find new things that can somehow make me feel alive again. I will keep on reaching out and I will never give up until I find myself into something, I will say, I've done well. And as for Christianity, I don't think I have to do anything anymore, God has done it all already for me, praise and thank Him. I am ready to face a new life now. I will leave everything behind and start all over again. My new life begins now.
A few announcements:
1.) 6th set is still cancelled.
2.) I'll be erasing all my videos in my Youtube channel in the coming near future and I'll be shutting down my Youtube channel as well. However, I'll be keep on posting some of my demos in my future Soundcloud account, I'll be making one. Also, this blog and the Songs page will remain./
3.) I'll be posting my new works and updates later on near future in this blog. So as always, keep catching up.
I love you all and thank you so much for everything. Until then!
Sunday, October 4, 2015
Wednesday, September 9, 2015
I'm sorry "A Failing Inspiration"
I'm sorry - A message shred by Decent/Mimarigoth/Mon
"A Failing Inspiration"
First of all, before I start, I'm sorry. I am truly sorry. I've been so naive, I overlooked myself and my goals. Every day and every night, non-stop, I overthought about it. I felt so alone and I overreacted with all of my surroundings. I threw myself out from the middle and I felt like everything is falling apart, that I am a big failure. I seek for something I don't need and I expected too much. I overthought of it that it came to the point that I misled myself. Then I realized, I became so selfish. I never thought of what I actually wanted to do in the first place, I did it. I saw what I came in life to see. My reason why I started this, my goal, I actually reached it. And now, I can't be the person I am not, I saw myself so bad, not knowing that I actually did good. I looked so down to myself, but I am actually a person of someone's beginning and it's really heart-warming to know.
So to all of you, I am sorry, for being a failing inspiration. For being a big motivational mistake. I've seen what I wanted to see. I don't want you all to stop. Whatever have you started, finish it. I want to see how you will all end. And as for me, I know now where to continue. I did my part. I had my fun, my pain, and I realized my mistake. So I am sorry, for being wrong. For wrongfully complaining about your ignorance and missing parts that I actually had. Now it is time for me to jump to something new. I've done what I have to do yet there is more for me to conquest. Keep writing songs? Play music? Video games? Stories? I don't know, I've done all that and I saw how I inspired you guys, that's already satisfying, I don't know if there's anything I could ask. I'm happy enough now to see the next part. I went from being so awful, selfish and a stupid overthinker like everything is bad but then everything is actually really good. So I am really sorry. To each and every single one of you, for me being a mistake, I'm sorry. Yes, everything fell apart.......
...but it's time to pick up the pieces.
There's so many things I still want to say, but this is all for now,
I'm sorry.
"A Failing Inspiration"
- Decent
Forgive me.
"A Failing Inspiration"
First of all, before I start, I'm sorry. I am truly sorry. I've been so naive, I overlooked myself and my goals. Every day and every night, non-stop, I overthought about it. I felt so alone and I overreacted with all of my surroundings. I threw myself out from the middle and I felt like everything is falling apart, that I am a big failure. I seek for something I don't need and I expected too much. I overthought of it that it came to the point that I misled myself. Then I realized, I became so selfish. I never thought of what I actually wanted to do in the first place, I did it. I saw what I came in life to see. My reason why I started this, my goal, I actually reached it. And now, I can't be the person I am not, I saw myself so bad, not knowing that I actually did good. I looked so down to myself, but I am actually a person of someone's beginning and it's really heart-warming to know.
So to all of you, I am sorry, for being a failing inspiration. For being a big motivational mistake. I've seen what I wanted to see. I don't want you all to stop. Whatever have you started, finish it. I want to see how you will all end. And as for me, I know now where to continue. I did my part. I had my fun, my pain, and I realized my mistake. So I am sorry, for being wrong. For wrongfully complaining about your ignorance and missing parts that I actually had. Now it is time for me to jump to something new. I've done what I have to do yet there is more for me to conquest. Keep writing songs? Play music? Video games? Stories? I don't know, I've done all that and I saw how I inspired you guys, that's already satisfying, I don't know if there's anything I could ask. I'm happy enough now to see the next part. I went from being so awful, selfish and a stupid overthinker like everything is bad but then everything is actually really good. So I am really sorry. To each and every single one of you, for me being a mistake, I'm sorry. Yes, everything fell apart.......
...but it's time to pick up the pieces.
There's so many things I still want to say, but this is all for now,
I'm sorry.
"A Failing Inspiration"
- Decent
Forgive me.
Monday, June 1, 2015
Third year college's heat has bagun!
My third year first sem college was on its third week and real works were getting started. So I'm starting to get busy again. Yesterday was a great day though, after our classes, there's not much work yet to do so since it's just starting, we hang out a bit. Have fun and ate food, did stuff. We also had classes on night so we had fun too after that before going home. There's gonna be lots of study works coming but I'll still keep this updated with my activities and event coming in. Keep catching up!
Sunday, May 24, 2015
First week of third year college!
My first week of my third year college starts last week and I really had fun! I met my new classmates, new professors and new things that coming in my way in terms of studies. And since we're not in regular sched just yet. After attending few classes which in short time cause it's just the first week. We had fun elsewhere. We went to malls. Play games at video games shop and also play some music at a recording studio, the thing we always does. I also played some of my written which is fun. Second week starts next week and I believe the real works will start as well. So I better be focus now. Until next post!
Friday, May 15, 2015
Working at it again!
Hey guys! Today was a rough day! It was my grandma's birthday today and we had visitors and also had a little fun! We do stuff and all and after a little celebration. I began with my personal stuff. I'm working right now with my future plans and upcoming works to come. This starts with the 6th set. I'm worked out with that today. As well as with the new secret project I'm doing. Just want to say that it will be on a new blog. Not here, however, it will be announced here. Both on its release and any other things that relates to it. Also with my music stuff, special tasks, upcoming events and activities, personal works and the map that I'm making! Right now, this upcoming things are a bit of prepared and I'm gonna start doing them this coming June. Also next week, as I mentioned before, I'm about to start my 3rd year college so that'll be fun! Sorry for long time no post and keep catching up! New things are coming! :D
Thursday, May 14, 2015
Making a comeback!
Hey guys! I'm back at updating my blog yet again! I've been so passive and this site has been frozen for so long. I'm going on a straight list here why I'm not posting after these passing days.
The reason why there are no recent posts these passing days are:
1. I am so literally busy with my personal stuff. This involves my random works, social things and special tasks.
2. I am also busy with my school. After releasing 5th set, I haven't post anything that relates school or any events in it. Why? Cause I am so busy on studying, I can't have time to take on with the events and activities. However, what just happen lately was I just finished my 2nd year college and I am about to take my 3rd year college next week!
3. I am also busy with my church cause I've been playing in a band there or so called music team for service. Why am I not posting about it here? Because I am too focused and no time for taking picture and posting it here. But when I got lined again. I'll try. :D
4. I am also having some fun mostly this sembreak. That made me ran out of time to post stuff here in my blog.
5. I am working out with my music too. Such as new songs and arrangement for the 6th set.
6. Busy on updating my map on World Editor of Blizzard. The map that I am working out right now.
7. I am also planning and working on a new project. Not gonna reveal it for now cause it also has a chance to be canceled.
So yeah, been so busy these passing days, or months. And in the times back then when I'm not that busy, I had fun and took breaks too that's why I really had no time for my blog. But now I'm back!
Here are some new things to expect in my comeback! But not ahead though. A few weeks more and these things will start to roll. For now, I'll still be quiet but watch out for these stuff to come.
1. New posts from events and activities I'm gonna have this 3rd year college.
2. 6th set announcement.
3. New blog page.
4. Works, tasks and status updates.
5. Other social events.
Thanks guys! Until next post! I love you all! :D
Saturday, April 11, 2015
New updates!
The era of the rogues are done but you can still check out the 5th set at Mimarigoth Youtube channel or at the Songs page. The release really went well and great. But now here are the new upcoming updates to be released after this month:
1. New blog design. (Actually active now)
2. New page. (Coming a bit of a far but just keep catching up)
3. New posts.
4. New events and activities.
5. New project announcement.
6. 6th set announcement.
The reasons why I haven't been around these passing days were because I was so busy in my college and as well with my other personal works. But now I'm back! Expect for some new releases! :D
Back at it again!
It's been months since the fifth set was luring around and also since I haven't post anything here in blog! The fifth set was released since last year and it was great, check it out at the Songs or at Mimarigoth Youtube channel. There are also some random things and posts about the fifth set and feel free to check it out here in the blog. There will supposed to be some lyric videos for the songs inside but they were canceled cause of reasons but who knows? There might still be a chance for me to make some! In the meantime, the reason I had this post is just to re-announce or just to re-show to you guys the release of the fifth set and how well it went. The main headline of this post is that, THERE WILL BE SOME UPCOMING UPDATES and also DETAILS FOR THE UPCOMING 6TH SET.
Sunday, January 18, 2015
The Rush of the Rogues!
The 5th set entitled "Cavalry of the Broken Rogues" just did a great hype on its release! As the concept themed picking up like what the 4th set did with Necromancers really worked out the 5th set! It was complete with 14 tracks, 13 lyrical songs and 1 instrumental song and it's now grinding at my Youtube channel with the playlist as well! Listen to it there or at the Songs page! Also, you can see other releases about it on the my posts and news! There are more to come so keep catching up! The 5th set is full out, march on Rogues!
CAVALRY OF THE BROKEN ROGUES
Linings of the Cavalry!
So yeah, the 5th was been out and available and the fire continues! All of its release are now available and you can check it out now! Listen to the songs of the 5th set now at either the Songs page or at my Youtube channel! Also, check out its extra release such as the Cavalry wallpapers, playlist, about the set and all here:
1. Cavalry of the Broken Rogues - 5th set: Youtube Playlist
2. Ellie - Lyrics video
3. Mimarigoth Youtube Channel
4. Cavalry Dedication Wallpapers
5. 5th set Release Completion
6. About the 5th set
7. Cavalry of the Broken Rogues - 5th set launch
Check it out now guys! March on Rogues!
Also, catch up with some soon to be stuff like me in some events, lyrics videos for the songs on the 5th set and more!
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
This is what the Cavalry has for you!
The 5th set is now out! We have lots of things to follow in it! We already have some lyrics video and that's the song "Ellie", track 1 from the set. But yet, there are still more lyrics video to come! (Expect that!). Also, the playlist is now out, wandering around at my Youtube channel! The "About the set" is also out at my blog Home page or at the News tab and also the wallpapers for the 5th set that I promised before are out too! The release of the 5th is now full officially out! The fire continues and I want you all to check it out now!
Special thanks to all my friends, family, love ones and all who supported me! And lastly to my God almighty! The 5th set is now out!
CAVALRY OF THE BROKEN ROGUES
Hold your fire Rogues!
The hype of the 5th set release goes on! The sounds of the gun fires on the battlefield constantly continues as the battle wave! Cavalry of the Broken Rogues is now out and fully available so check it out now at the Songs page or at my Youtube channel! Listen to it, play it, check out what's inside! March on Rogues!
The 2015 begins! Happy New year!
Thank you for sticking through thick and thin with me from the year 2014, where I release the 4th set, announced the 5th set and finally launched it too! I couldn't done it without you, my friends, families and love ones! Thank you and let's be all still this 2015, once again, happy new year everyone! I love you all!
Happy New Year Rogues!
Let the new year 2015 begin!
March on, Rogues! This is our Cavalry!
"We march and fight for love Rogues."
- Cavalry of the Broken Rogues -
- Ellie -
- Milkaella and Agent Cereal -
- Attack Target -
- Tomboy -
Get up Rogues!
CAVALRY OF THE BROKEN ROGUES
Cavalry of the Broken Rogues - Concept Portraits
As I promise before, if you guys can still remember, I'm going to post the wallpapers for the 5th set after any moment! Coming out now guys! :D
Mix a milk in a battle! Get up, get up, Rogues!
This 5th set is all out now! It is now complete and ready to listen to! It has now its playlist, you can listen to it now at the Songs page or at my Youtube channel, it also has the "About the set" post in my home page and all! Check it all out now! The 5th set is all out!
Here's the tracklist:
Cavalry of the Broken Rogues
1. Ellie
2. Untitled
3. This could be the death of me
4. Let you go
5. Searching Escape
6. Decent (Lost in Precision)
7. You're the page I loved in this book
8. Wyxz
9. Stay Safe
10. Milkaella and Agent Cereal
11. Battle Rages
12. Attack Target
13. Tomboy
14. Cavalry of the Broken Rogues
Get up, get up Rogues!
About the fifth set: Cavalry of the Broken Rogues
Cavalry of the Broken Rogues
Before we go to the songs, why first call it "Cavalry" and "Broken Rogues". These words has it's own different meanings but this like appear in a new era, Back from 4th set, about the Necromancers. This one will be about lost Rogues. Rogues are basically define as stealth and agile warriors in combat back then but in this concept, the Rogues I'm talking about here is yes, a fighter, but not a fight against real soldiers or not in a real war. But in a war of identity, What it is inside of each of them. How their hearts, spirits live. Who they really are and what they are supposed to do?
The Rogues here I'm talking are like the normal teenagers these days, and when I say Broken Rogues, then I mean broken young people. These broken rogues are broken young people who try to fight with their everyday struggles like pain, emptiness, rejection, ignorance, anxiety and all.
Cavalry, means their reason to live, is the their ultimate weapon of stand, their cavalry, for these young broken brothers and sisters to continue on fighting, and this cavalry are none other than God and His gifts, gifts to these broken teenagers. He himself and those blessing He lend to make these Rogues strong. Cavalry of the Broken Rogues simply means God preserving spiritual dead young people. How they stand still and fight with God to all the shakes of life.
But still, not all the songs inside the set is about it, some are about friendship, hardship, false love, lies and all but it still talks about one thing, encouragement or overcome.
Now let's go with the songs!
1. Ellie
A song about two hopeless people that holding on a tight relationship. Fighting through struggles and pain and knowing that there is an overcome for it.
2. Untitled
A song about a person discovering a big mistake on his way of love. Letting someone go, trying to live out the truth and forgetting the lies.
3. This could be death of me
This song is about a hidden love kept for long time, realizing one day that it's just a big mistake and it just make everything wrong.
4. Let you go
The title says it all.
5. Searching Escape
This song is about pain, struggle, a hopeless situation but yet still finding hope for victory. Having typical life problems and believing to have breakthroughs.
6. Decent (Lost in Precision)
This is about a person who's been lost for a very long time, searching for life meaning and truth of his identity. Feeling hopeless and all and thinking that even him himself cannot help him. But then one day knowing that someone out there he cannot see will be his only hope. That is God.
7. You're the page I loved in this book
About people who still believe in lies that I'm hoping to one day will know the truth and live it out.
8. Wyxz
Because it kinda has to be.
9. Stay Safe
About being secured in life, knowing that God is always there for victory.
10. Milkaella and Agent Cereal
My second favorite song. About love, breakthroughs, overcome and victory in relationship.
11. Battle Rages
A very beautiful instrumental song about remembering the past we overcome.
12. Attack Target
One of my favorite, it's about a relationship having great struggle, spiritual and emotional pain and overcome it! Had victory over it!
13. Tomboy
About knowing the real identity and about not fighting for the wrong but now fighting for the truth. Why title it Tomboy? Because Tomboy are female people who lives like male. It's wrong right? I have nothing against them, I respect them and all, I understand them but it is all around the pattern. They're living different, and that's what this is all about. That's why I entitled it Tomboy.
14. Cavalry of the Broken Rogues
Remember when I said that Milkaella and Agent Cereal is my second favorite song? Because this is my first. About a dead life being resurrected by an awesome God. About life meaning, Victory and all. Fighting for the good love, about fighting for the truth, turning away from wrong and living the righteous. About a great reason and purpose for living. it is all about victory with God.
Basically, to summary all of this, this whole set and all its songs are about life struggles and hopeless living then discovering its true meaning, true identity and life victory that we are living, finding hope, breakthroughs and having dead life to its end and living all out again a new life!
Get up Rogues!
CAVALRY OF THE BROKEN ROGUES
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Line the Cavalry! The Rogues are here!
The 5th set is now live! It is all out now entitled "Cavalry of the Broken Rogues". You can check it out now at the Songs page or at my Youtube channel! The 5th is now out and it also now has its playlist so check it out now!
Here's the track list:
Cavalry of the Broken Rogues
1. Ellie
2. Untitled
3. This could be the death of me
4. Let you go
5. Searching Escape
6. Decent (Lost in Precision)
7. You're the page I loved in this book
8. Wyxz
9. Stay Safe
10. Milkaella and Agent Cereal
11. Battle Rages
12. Attack Target
13. Tomboy
14. Cavalry of the Broken Rogues
Cavalry of the Broken Rogues is now out! Thanks to all my love ones who supports me and so to my almighty God!
CAVALRY OF THE BROKEN ROGUES
Fifth set - Cavalry of the Broken Rogues
Finally, the 5th set, Cavalry of the Broken Rogues, is now out! It's here and you can listen to it now at either the Songs page or at my Youtube channel, here's the link for its playlist -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnuMMpwHHZk&list=PLPrMlRUJHrDpnbSULoR-5tPn8bPqpA1_i
This has 14 tracks inside, 13 lyrical songs and 1 instrumental. This includes songs like "Ellie", "Searching Escape", "Decent (Lost in Precision)", "You're the page I loved in this book", "Wxyz", and "Tomboy". Check it out now!
Here's the complete tracklist!
Cavalry of the Broken Rogues
1. Ellie
2. Untitled
3. This could be the death of me
4. Let you go
5. Searching Escape
6. Decent (Lost in Precision)
7. You're the page I loved in this book
8. Wyxz
9. Stay Safe
10. Milkaella and Agent Cereal
11. Battle Rages
12. Attack Target
13. Tomboy
14. Cavalry of the Broken Rogues
Thanks to all my family and friends who supported me. To my known people who views my videos, listens to my music, helps me out and supports me, thanks guys! And so to my loving almighty God!
5TH SET IS NOW OUT! MARCH ON ROGUES! LINE THE CAVALRY!
6th set, coming soon!
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