Lost but now found! - Solomon O. Agayatin
A message I've been dying to write. Lost but now found! Reason why I never give up. Reason for me to continue. Here lies most of the things I wanted to say inside.
19 years, I lived. Through ups and downs, thick and thin. From days when I still have no idea what I am doing to days like now when I'm all awake, learning, witnessing and shredding my innocence slowly. I've been through many things, yet not too many for me to say I had enough. I want to learn and experience more and I know it doesn't stop here. But the problem is, I felt like some part of my life are destroying me. Physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally. These things are stopping me to step ahead. There are times that I wanted to give up. However, I stood still. When I was in high school, I think I cut my wrist like three times and thank God, nothing worse happened to me. And until now, there's a lot of things, reminding me of who was I and who I am now. I am still confused and afraid. I have major emotional weaknesses. I am sensitive, my sensitivity went too far before way too many times. I also overthink into many things that put me in a devastating mood. Probably the reason why I cut myself before. My pure weaknesses, overthinking and emotional-sensitivity are some of my problems that slow my progression in life. I'm having a hard time overcoming these problems and I can't step ahead. Every change of my surroundings get me overthinking. There are so many things that always put me in a bad state. From my family, my friends, social media and even from the internet. I don't want to speak specifically here or whatsoever but there are too many. Besides of these weaknesses, some tribulations got me down on my knees as well. My parents went apart, my uncle died, I've been to bad break ups. Financial problematic days and such. Seeing my sister struggles through life and all that. I've even been through days were like, I was the only one in our house. Limited supplies and food. However, I went through all of them back then. The only reason I think why I survived and overcame all these things is because of God. And my reason to never give up and live is also Him. All of my prayers are heard, they're always turning into something. And so I know I still have these weaknesses and bad memories, but I am fighting. God told me that I am better than this. He knows my struggles and He's working out and suffering with me. He's aware of everything. I know that I am a "work-in-progress" and soon, I'll overcome all of these, not alone, but with Him. All of my troubles will end and yes, there might be some replacement for them. But I'll be ready.
On the other hand. I had fun with all the things I've been doing before. Writing songs, stories, helping with church services and communities. I don't know if I've been so productive or what, but I'm happy with all of it. However, I want to make more. And I want to keep this up. In fact, I'm leaving this all behind and try to start something new. Maybe I'll find my inspiration a new work and become an inspiration, as well, for others. I am excited for what it is come, I know there tons of it. Also, next, next week will be my birthday. I have like one and half week left to live as a teenager. Soon, I'll become a young adult dude. Which is why I want to make this one last week of me as a teenager to be memorable that's why I'll do my best to be productive as I ever be. Also, as I turn 20. I'll do my best to change myself! To renew myself! No, not the change that the people want, but change that I want and will please God. I will start all over again and find new things that can somehow make me feel alive again. I will keep on reaching out and I will never give up until I find myself into something, I will say, I've done well. And as for Christianity, I don't think I have to do anything anymore, God has done it all already for me, praise and thank Him. I am ready to face a new life now. I will leave everything behind and start all over again. My new life begins now.
A few announcements:
1.) 6th set is still cancelled.
2.) I'll be erasing all my videos in my Youtube channel in the coming near future and I'll be shutting down my Youtube channel as well. However, I'll be keep on posting some of my demos in my future Soundcloud account, I'll be making one. Also, this blog and the Songs page will remain./
3.) I'll be posting my new works and updates later on near future in this blog. So as always, keep catching up.
I love you all and thank you so much for everything. Until then!